Think.

Isn’t it weird when you just look back on your life and think of all the people you used to be so close with back then and aren’t close with now?  It’s actually more terrible than weird if you ask me.  Girls come and go but it’s really the friendships with guys and even girls that have just deteriorated and withered away in these last few years that kind of make me sad.  Granted, most of this isn’t my fault.  It’s college’s fault.  In high school I had so many different friends, some older than me.  I had some really good friends that were a year or two older than me and when college came around, they were gone from my life.  Now that I’m in college it’s even worse.  The large majority of my friends are away.  They’re still my friends but they’re not around all the time like I am.  My comfort zone is gone.  It’s like I kind of have to start over with the friend making process.

I remember there were some girls that I always used to talk to just as friends.  Now I don’t have that anymore.  Do I want it?  Eh, I don’t really care.  But it’s nice to have one around, you know?  Some of these girls just disappeared from my life.  They either got weird, self-absorbed, or just distant.  It’s weird how that happens.  With guys it hasn’t been that bad.  Besides college there really was only one friend I really did lose.  We still socialize but it’s not the same and it never will be.  My only regret is not being the best role model I could be to this friend and, for that, I paid the price.  He isn’t the same guy I used to know.  He’s different, more defensive and on edge.  He claims to be content without a best friend and the help of others and he denounces his continually inflating ego.  He holds grudges and finds happiness only on some days and this makes me sad.  It is true that this is his nature and this is who he is.  But I’m just sad my peers and I were unsuccessful for the most part in steering him towards a happier, more humble demeanor.

Some will say that making a lot of friends is a waste of time and, in a way, I agree.  I’ll definitely chose 4 loyal best friends over 40 acquaintances any day.  But I like meeting new people.  Each person has their own little memory in my mind and when I’m older I can talk about all the different people I’ve met.  It also helps you weed out the good friends from the bad ones.  Always welcome in new people, you never know who you’ll find. 

Out with the old, in with the new.