Think.

As my sophomore year of college comes to a close, I think it’s only fitting that I write about it as I make my triumphant return to the writing realm of Tumblr.  Unfortunately, the overwhelming majority of my followers will see this wall of text, glance at the title, and scroll past it.  But I’m gonna write anyway!  The end of the 2013 spring semester marks the halfway point in my journey through college.  I’ve successfully completed another semester at school and I’ve finally entered the glorious time of every student’s life known as summer vacation.  It’s time to concentrate on making money and having a good time.  But it’s also a time to sit back and reflect upon the life I’ve been living so far.  This semester was different from the other three because I was working consistently, I had an online class, and I only went to school three days a week.  Every Monday and Thursday I stayed at school until at least 6:30 when my science class let out so it gave me a lot of time to get to know my classmates and interact with them.  Through it all, this semester has made me think a lot about college, my school, my life, the lives of the kids around me, and the choices I’ve made so far.  It’s made me think about things I didn’t want to think about and it’s made me write the words I’m writing to you right now. 

After a lot of thinking, I’ve come to the conclusion that college itself is one big pile of horseshit.  Was it always horseshit?  No, not really.  I’m more inclined to think that the level of horseshit has increased significantly over the past decade and recent years.  College is now a multimillion-dollar industry designed not only to expand our knowledge but also to turn our lives into one big party.  Everybody has to go away.  Every year, new colleges and places of higher learning are opening and expanding in hopes of reeling in boatloads of cash from poor suckers who actually think they’ll significantly benefit from it.  It’s all a ploy, a scam, a business scheme, a spectacle, and, most importantly, a presumable necessity for young Americans who want to be successful in life.  I’ll be the first one to say that I embody the latter part of that statement.  I’m in college because I’ve been told repeatedly throughout my life that college is essential if I want to get a good, secure job in the future.  My parents went to college because they wanted to but their generation’s children are going to college because we have to. 

When I got to high school, my guidance counselors and teachers constantly pounded the thought of college into our heads week in and week out.  They urged us all the time to research colleges and find the one that fits our needs the most even when we were only sophomores.  During my junior year it got worse and, in my senior year, it got crazy.  Colleges that I either never heard about or didn’t even apply to would send me mail from all over the country nonstop.  My e-mail was relentlessly spammed with college recruiters trying to get me to apply and enroll into their school and my mind was overloaded with information.  Picking a college was such an enormous decision because there were so many options that you didn’t want to be stuck with the wrong school for the next four years of your life.  Needless to say, it was a stressful time.  But, after a long internal struggle with myself, I ended up picking St. John’s University as my college of choice.  Why?  Nobody really knows the real reason, not even myself.  I knew I wasn’t going to dorm so I had to pick a school that was close by.  With everything factored in, I had two good choices to pick from: St. John’s University and Wagner College.  I think I must’ve done eenie meenie miney moe and landed on St. John’s because that’s what I picked and that’s where I am now.  I can’t say I haven’t learned anything or gained anything positive from my two-year experience at St. John’s so far but it’s made me think a lot about my choice and about college in general.  For starters, the tuition at my school is a staggering $35,000 per year and increasing with every semester.  They throw you scholarships like they’re going out of style in order to lure you in and distract you from the mediocrity of the school as a whole and, the next thing you know, you’re on a cruise to nowhere on your first day of orientation with people you’ve never met before.  St. John’s is a small campus that looks pretty on the outside but, on the inside, it’s too old, worn out, and shitty to be worth 35 grand.  The cafeteria is sub-par at best and so is the food.  The computer lab is nice and so is the main office building but the cafeteria is where student life thrives and, quite frankly, it looks like my asshole.  It should be a lot nicer than what it is.

But let’s not get carried away with the physical attributes of my college.  Let’s talk about the education because, after all, that’s the most important part.  Like I stated earlier, I can’t say I haven’t gained anything valuable from my time at St. John’s so far but the curriculum and environment is tedious and taxing.  The amount of core requirements I have to meet in order to graduate is baffling.  I’m required to take three Philosophy classes, three Theology classes, two English classes, two Language classes, and a slew of other liberal arts classes just so I can get my degree.  In August, I’ll be going into my fifth semester of college and I still won’t be done with my core curriculum.  That’s a despicable waste of my time.  Core curriculum has always been a part of college but even my parents said that it’s gotten to be overwhelming and unnecessary now.  I don’t have a problem with basic core classes that take up the bulk of my freshman year but after that, I’d like to focus on my major!  Isn’t that why I came to college in the first place?  So I could get away from all the bullshit liberal arts classes that have haunted me my entire life?  Isn’t that why I came, so I can learn what I wanted to learn instead of doing piles of senseless homework and essays for worthless classes I could care less about?  I guess not.  Everyone can’t wait until their cores are over so they can really focus on learning what they want to learn but what they fail to realize at St. John’s and countless other institutions is that their time at college is almost over by the time they can actually do that.  That’s ridiculous.

But there are some academic benefits!  I’m halfway through college and I’ve learned some great, interesting things on computer graphics, the art of interviewing, sports TV and radio, and the necessary tools to be an effective manager.  I’ve met people I never thought I’ve met, I’ve made important contacts, I’ve built up my resume, I’ve gotten real world experience in all types of fields, and I even landed an internship for myself next semester.  My school has given me many opportunities so far and I’m grateful for that.  Like any university, there are great teachers, there are horrendous teachers, and there are the large majorities of which that are average.  Most of them are extra-credit friendly and help you out with your grades even when you don’t deserve it, which is a huge plus.  Most of us at St. John’s regard our school as not real or as High School Part 2.  Everyone still acts as if they’re still in high school anyway so it’s even more fitting.  I’ve gotten A’s and A minuses in classes where I knew I deserved a lower grade.  Some of the professors here are as lazy as the students and that’s great but, in the end, it makes our learning process seem like a joke.  We get free ice cream on Monday’s when the weather is warm and free food whenever the school feels like it.  It’s not a bad deal but is it worth 35 G’s?  Some people say St. John’s students are simply paying for their degree and not really learning anything and the sad part is that there’s validity in that statement.  All we do is sit around, stare at each other, and complain about how our school is boring and our teachers are stupid.  But our GPAs are pretty good.

All the other colleges my friends go to are a lot harder than my school but they’re having the time of their lives.  They love the freedom, the parties, the girls, and the atmosphere.  It’s a different world when you’re dorming at college.  It’s still overwhelming and stressful but there are so many distractions at your dorm that you might just accidentally forget to do that essay or study for that test tomorrow morning and crush a couple beers with your neighbor or smoke a blunt with your boys.  The problem with college now is that everyone expects it to be a vacation.  Everyone expects it to be the best time of their lives and, for the fortunate who can afford to go prestigious playgrounds like NYU, Notre Dame, Villanova, U.Del and even sloppy, drug-infested places in upstate New York, it really is the best time of their lives.  But schmucks like me who commute to their lame ass college every day to be welcomed by asshole professors, cancelled classes, shitty overpriced food, and ten different lunchroom cliques, it’s not really rainbows and unicorns.  Everybody thinks college is supposed to be fun but here’s the reality…it’s not.  I told my Mom the other day that I don’t like school because it isn’t fun and she replied saying, “Fun?!  Since when is college supposed to be fun?  When your Dad and I went it sucked.  It’s school, it’s supposed to suck.”  When I heard that, I shut my bitch mouth up and thought for a while.  Maybe I’m not supposed to have a ton of friends and go to parties every weekend and take super exciting classes.  Maybe this is the way it’s supposed to be.  Maybe it’s time to be a man like Mulan.

The biggest question I have, however, is when did it become such a necessity to have a college degree in order to get a high paying job?  And why does it cost so much?!  If you ask the majority of kids who go to college why they’re going, they’ll say that they’re going so they can get a good job.  When my parents were growing up, a college degree was an amazing accomplishment and helped in giving you credibility but by no means dictated what kind of job you got.  If you ask any middle-aged person now they’ll say they didn’t go to college because it wasn’t necessary.  Now if you ask any person in their twenties, they’ll most likely tell you they’re in school already or looking to go back.  It’s a whole different era; an era in which college dictates your intelligence and credibility in the open market.  Americans spend millions of dollars every year investing in higher education in hopes of possibly making a crack in the thick dull pavement that is our job market.  If that doesn’t work, you’re stuck paying off your loans for years and years after you’ve graduated.  What kind of madness is this?  Prices have become astronomical, quality has decreased, and, yet, it has become a wanted commodity in society.  Society has adapted the ideology that if you want to be successful, you need to go to college.  Unfortunately, the prices are so unrealistically high that people are forced to take out dozens of loans, apply for financial aid, and sell their liver just so they can get a degree. 

 I may be complaining now but it’s not because I’m some brat who has  nothing better to do with his life, it’s because I’m concerned.  I’m concerned for myself, I’m concerned for my classmates, and I’m concerned for my generation.  When does this college madness end?  When will a kid be able to go to school and learn important things dealing with his or her field of interest and things in life without having to dig up gold bricks in the California coal mines?  I want to learn about how to interpret my tax code and construct strategies in buying a car and a house, not about the rise and fall of the Ottoman Empire or the symbolism in some sappy poem written by some loser.  They’re teaching us ass-backwards but it’s up to us to not give up, make the best of the cards we’ve been dealt, and take advantage of whatever good things college has to offer you. 

This is the time in your life to experiment and try new things, and I don’t just mean drugs.  You need to reach deep within you and figure out who you really are, who you want to be associated with, and what you want to do with the rest of your life.  The growing beast that is college is something that is becoming increasingly prevalent in society today but you need to know that you can still be rich, famous, and successful without a college degree if you really try.  Kanye West went to college, dropped out, and became one of the most popular and prevalent rap artists in the game.  Bryce Harper played baseball his whole life, dropped out of high school, followed his dream, and is now a 21 year old sensation starting for the Washington Nationals.  Bill Gates dropped out of college and created Microsoft, one of the most revolutionary technological advances in computer history.  Albert Einstein was a horrible student but an extraordinary thinker who gave the world incredible knowledge in fields of astrology, physics, and chemistry.  If you’re not happy in college because you feel creatively or emotionally trapped then you shouldn’t torture yourself.  College isn’t for everyone and some people have bigger dreams that lie outside the realm of textbooks and tests.  Nobody is forcing you to do anything once you turn 18.  If you have enough motivation and drive to make a name for yourself then why waste away in a classroom?  By all means, go out and take what is yours!  But if you choose to sit in a classroom and get a degree, you better learn.  You better make the most of your money or your parents’ money and learn because you might end up finding something enjoyable that you never even knew existed within you.  Find out what makes you think, find out what motivates you, and be the person you want to be.  Don’t let society dictate what you can and cannot do.

If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me why I smile so much, I think I’d have enough money to film a documentary on why I smile so much—that’s how many times I’ve been asked this.  I’ve never given a real answer to the people who have asked this question.   Instead I just did what I always do—smiled back.  But my followers have asked me to write about this so they shall finally receive the full in-depth answer to this pressing issue.  I might have it published and sent out to all my friends afterwards.  After all, they’ve asked me about it enough times. 

The reason I never gave people an actual answer to this question is because there really is no answer.  I mean, there is an answer but it’s really simple.  I smile all the time because, well, that’s just the way I am.  I don’t choose to do it, it just happens.  Whenever I’m confronted with a situation in life, there’s a good 85% chance that you’ll either get a smile or a smirk out of me.  Why?  I really wish I could tell you.  I can tell you one thing, though.  When my nickname arose in about the 7^th grade, most people thought it was the cutest thing.  However, there were always those people, even my friends sometimes, who would tease and make fun of me for not taking certain things seriously or always smiling all the time because they found it ‘annoying’.  But I never stopped smiling.  It was and always will be what makes me who I am. 

I’ve been smiling since I came out of my mother’s womb but it wasn’t until 7^th grade when one kid recognized it and gave me a name.  That name was “Smiles”.  I think the name stuck with me so well because I got it at a Catholic elementary school full of clowns after my one-year debut there and because, well, I smiled—a lot.  Before this place, I went to a public elementary school and graduated 5^th grade but, instead of going to the local intermediate school like everyone else in my class did, my parents switched me over to a local Catholic school to serve as my middle school.  In 6^th grade I was the “new kid” and I fit in alright.  I met the handful of kids who would serve as my best friends for the remainder of my time there.  One of them still is my best friend today.  But I was young and malleable and in 7^th grade one of the popular kids in the class gave me my nickname.  I was still new so instead of being called “New Kid” I just became “Smiles”.  The name spread like a disease in a hooker and, before I knew it, I had my own best friends calling me Smiles.  For the rest of 7^th and 8^th grade, only teachers called me by my real name.  Just like gays are strictly dickly I was strictly Smiles.  High school came and I thought ‘Okay, maybe people will start to call me James now’.  Wrong.  My best friend went to high school with me and ended up spreading my nickname like it was his job to everyone around me.  I was still very young and didn’t really care because, in all honesty, I became considerably popular due to that name.  But, of course, there were the kids who would call me a pussy and a bitch because I smiled all the time and I tried to brush it off because, for the most part, everyone loved me and I was soaking it all in.  So, for the remainder of high school, my friends and peers called me “Smiles” almost 100% of the time.  Every now and then I’d get called “James” and even my friends would be shocked that they even called me by that name.  They’d be like, “Wait, I just called you James; totally forgot that was your name.” 

            When I graduated high school, I said to myself, ‘Alright college is coming up; people are actually going to call me by my real name for sure.’  Wrong—but not terribly wrong.  Yes, my nickname has followed me all the way to college but only because guys I went to high school with are here and girls I knew from then are here as well.  But all the people I don’t know call me “James” and I’m like ‘Wow, I almost forgot my real name for a second.’  I’m called “Smiles” on a range of 15-55% of the time I’m at school depending on who I see.  I don’t know where I’m getting these numbers from by the way; I’m just making it up as I go along.  Now, I never had a problem when guys called me Smiles unless they were two or more years younger than me because, like, who the hell are you; you don’t know me like that.  But, anyway, the only time I have a problem with it is when girls call me Smiles.  Of course there are the girls I’ve known for the majority of high school that only know me by that name and it’s alright for the most part but, when girls that didn’t really know me back then call me that, I don’t like it.  I especially don’t like it when girls that I like call me “Smiles”.  I’m almost 20 years old, call me James.  Like I said before, my guy friends will probably call me Smiles till the day I die but that’s okay because they’re my friends.  But, when girls call me that, I feel like I’m being treated as a kid.  It’s a childish nickname; I’m not the same person I was back in 7^th or 8^th grade.  I want to be that funny, smiling kid because that’s who I am but I also want people to know that I’m mature and can be serious when I want to.  It’s a tough medium to find.

I know most of this post hasn’t exactly been about why I smile a lot but I thought it was necessary to divulge upon you the origins of my nickname and how I feel about it.  I guess I’ll always be known as “Smiles” to somebody for the rest of my life but, like I said, it’s who I am.  Some people ask me, “Do you ever frown?” or “Do you ever get sad?” and I just laugh.  Granted, I haven’t gotten these questions in a few years but the answers to those questions are No and Yes.  ‘You don’t frown?  How is that possible?’ Well, first off, I think it’s a stupid word.  What the hell is a frown?  My smile cannot be turned upside down.  But, yes, I do get sad.  I get sad when I don’t work out, I get sad when my hair looks like it got into a fight with a weed whacker, I get sad when work sucks, I get sad when I buy gas, I get sad when I have to wake up early, and I get very sad when it’s 2am on winter nights.  But I never stay sad for a long period of time.  It usually lasts a couple of hours and then I blast some music in the car or watch Friends and everything is all right. 

I’ve gotten mad and sad hundreds of times before but I don’t usally show it publicly.  When I was younger and I was mad at someone, they’d always end up making me laugh and I’d immediately forgive them no matter what they did.  Nowadays too I’m still very forgiving.  I can’t stay mad at any of my friends for more than a day.  Why?  Shit, I don’t know.  Being too forgiving labels me as a doormat sometimes but Jesus did it, right?  He’s the best role model any one can ask for.  I believe in second chances and my smile let’s you know that it’s okay to make mistakes.  It’s okay to be different, it’s okay to be scared, and it’s okay to hate on Taylor Swift because I do too.  Why do I smile all the time?  Because I want everyone else to.  I want to let them in on the joke.  I want them to know that life doesn’t have to be so serious all the time and that good things will come to those who wait.  Where has negativity and “frowning” gotten anybody?  Stop saying everything sucks because it doesn’t and you’re just bringing everyone else down.  While we’re on the topic, if your parents are paying their life’s earnings and maybe their kidney or liver just so you can go to college, make the best of it and go to class.  You can’t learn if you don’t go to class and if you hate school so much, drop out and get a job.  Get an apartment off of campus so you can still chill with your college bros and hoes and try it out.  Nobody’s forcing you to go to college.  As soon as you hit 18, nobody can force you to do anything so figure out your priorities and do what makes you smile.  Life isn’t worth living if you can’t find a way to smile or laugh. 

Honestly, I smile a lot because smiling is just better.  The other day I saw a girl at the mall who I was really pissed off at the other day but somehow a huge smile broke out on my face when I saw her and I just forgot to be mad.  I can’t bring myself to straight up ignore someone in person or not even send a smirk their way when I see them.  It just doesn’t come naturally to me.  That’s why I can never be with a girl who’s the opposite of me in that aspect.  Being an egotistic, self-centered, inconsiderate asshole of a person, otherwise known as being a “bitch”, is probably the biggest turn off to me.  I have no interest in being with a girl like that.  If I really, really don’t like you and you know I don’t like you, I’ll just try to avoid you in any way possible and, if I can’t, you’ll probably get a little fake smile out of me.  But, honestly, I don’t have to use my fake smile that often.  People call it “the awkward smile” because I used to do it when I got in trouble in school or work.  I still do it.  I would get in trouble for having my phone out in high school and every time my face would smile but my mind would be like ‘Stop smiling you idiot, your phone just got taken away’ and what would result would be the Awkward Smile.  I’m weird like that; I smile at the most inopportune times.  I can’t help it, it just happens.  My smiles are mostly genuine and I like that part about me because I know some people that almost never smile.  Some of them have to think and try to smile and I feel bad for them.  With me, I don’t have to think about it.  I just do it.

I may have a smile on my face for a good part of any given day but I don’t think everything is rainbows and unicorns and I don’t pretend like it is either.  Now that I’m older and more mature, I don’t smile so much at stupid things or when I know I’m not supposed to be smiling.  It’s a part of growing up.  I know what’s real and what’s not, I have an understanding of the country I live in and the people who run it, and I comprehend the concept of how to properly save and spend money.  I know the world has a lot of problems and the people around me are mostly stereotypes or unimaginative, ordinary bricks in walls but that’s not going to stop me from smiling, laughing, and cracking jokes.  Just like 50 Cent said, you can hate it or love it.  Drake said, “I’m just doin’ me and you can never understand it.” and then I said…I like dogs.

“Grey skies are gonna clear up!  Put on a happy face.  Brush off the clouds and cheer up! Put on a happy face.  Take off the gloomy mask of tragedy…It’s not your style.  You’ll look so good that you’ll be glad you decided to smile.”

Today I had the task of cleaning up the tonnages of boxes containing toys, art work, and knick knacks from me and my brother’s childhood out of my basement in anticipation of my annual family News Years Eve party tomorrow.  The stuff had been there since the end of July when I had to get the floors redone in my room and it was finally time to clean it all up.  I wanted to clean up quickly because the mess was giving me anxiety but it was literally impossible.  I found myself sorting through every single item mentally debating on whether I wanted to trash it or stow it away in the attic.  During my struggle, I found myself playing with old toys and looking at old things I drew or wrote.  My brother opened a box of toy cars and lined them up on the floor like he used to 10 years ago and I was looking at my collection of 100+ Tech Deck Dudes in awe.  My Mom unearthed a Lazer Tag kit I got for Christmas at least five years ago that used to be The Shit.  There were just so many good memories associated with these things that it pained me to see some of it go.

But the main thing I got from sifting through all this crap was the reminder of how creative and imaginative I was when I was younger.  I was never that kid who sat around complaining about being bored.  When my parents got me toys and stuffed animals, I made sure I played with them—every day.  When I wasn’t building things with my Mega Blocks or concocting tales with my toys and stuffed animals, I was writing all types of stories and drawing cartoons.  I always found ways to keep myself busy.  My mind was always working; I was constantly thinking of creative ways to keep things fresh and preserve memories.  My brother and I both gave unique identities to a slew of stuffed animals in our rooms.  They all literally had their own names and character biographies.  I’d write stories about them too; it was nuts.  But now I look on my writings and all I write is nonfiction.  I’m sick of writing about daily things in my life and, most importantly, about girls.  I can’t wait until I meet a girl worth writing about so I can stop wasting words and paper on meaningless flings and crushes.  I want my imagination and motivation back.  Where did they go?

Now, despite my disappointment in myself, I still find myself a lot more creative than some of my friends and acquaintances.  The fact that I still write is good.  I take pictures of things and document events all the time.  I have a lot of ideas in my head but they never come to fruition anymore and it kills me.  But what kills me even more is how some of my friends are just completely devoid of motivation or imagination.  Nobody dares to dream anymore or think outside the box.  I go over to my best friend’s house and he’s on his fucking phone the whole time.  Aren’t we supposed to be having fun?  Shouldn’t we be playing games, pulling pranks, making videos, talking with each other?  Don’t get me wrong, we still do some of that stuff, but it seems like his world is just consumed by his phone and computer.  And girlfriends are more important than friendships as of late.  I don’t mean to sound like a whiny bitch at all, I’m just spilling the facts and the fact of the matter is that it’s a rarity for me to hang out with my friends and do something really fun or creative, especially with my best friend.  Recently I’ve been finding myself having more fun bullshitting while playing Madden with my friend from college over Xbox than with the guy whose literally been my other half for the last three years.  What’s wrong with this picture?

But it’s not just him, it’s a lot of people my age.  Nobody knows how to have fun anymore.  Nobody has any crazy ideas or wild plans.  I’ve heard girls and guys alike come up to me and tell me how they literally need new friends because their current ones don’t ever want to do anything.  They just want to drink and party and bury themselves into their phones.  Well, I feel very sorry for you people because that’s a pretty sad life you’re leading.  Get a hobby; do something with your life.  Make an identity for yourself!  I’m sick of everybody schlepping around all day moaning how they’re “sooooo bored”.  It’s getting monotonous.

To close out this rant, I just want to say a few things.  First and foremost, I’m going to try my very best to get that old childhood enthusiasm and creativity back in me this upcoming year.  I’m not going to make any resolutions or promises for 2013 but I expect good things.  It’s time for the ideas in my mind to come to life and, most importantly, it’s time to have some fun.

You know what’s kind of sad?  Nobody likes to write anymore.  The only time kids my age write is when they’re depressed or angry and it’s really disheartening.  Why can’t we write when we’re feeling great?  Why must we go on rant after rant on social networking about how everything sucks?  I know a venting mechanism while upset is to write down feelings and that’s totally cool, I do it all the time.  But why can’t we write about the fun things in life or when things are going well?  That’s why Tumblr gets that stereotype of being a haven for depressed, misunderstood, emotional teenage girls.  Personally, I don’t understand why some people insist on venting about their entire lives on Twitter and Tumblr day in and day out.  Everybody now knows your entire business.  Just by reading your Tweets and Tumblr posts I can immediately tell what kind of person you are.  Why don’t people write their innermost feelings on paper or somewhere else for their eyes only?  That’s what I do.  Everybody has emotions but you shouldn’t wear your heart on your sleeve for everybody to see and take advantage of.  Some thoughts are meant for you only; don’t advertise it on social networks.

But, going back to what I originally said, nobody likes to write about thoughtful things.  I think there’s only one person I follow that actually posts intellectual and positive posts on Tumblr.  Everything else is just sad and depressing.  Maybe it’s because I really enjoy writing that I’m becoming such a critic.  But, still, why don’t people feel the urge to write about when good things happen in their life?  If someone made a compilation of all of your personal writings, would you enjoy reading it?  That’s the way I look at it.  I try to keep my writings as varied as possible.  Some days call for some legitimate venting and stress relieving but other times I like to use some humor and talk about the good things in life.  You have the chance to make your life better, don’t sit on the computer all day and vomit out your emotions for the world to see.

Most people’s attention spans haven’t gotten them this far down the page but I just wanted to say that I think we should think before we write and post things.  It goes for all things in life.  Check over your work.  First draft is the emotion and the second draft is the brain.  The expression “I don’t give a fuck what people think” is false in regards to any human being; you know everybody is judging you on everything you say so be smart about it.  But writing is awesome.  I wish I could see some more positive posts on my dashboard every once in a while.  Christmas is coming up, I have faith in some nice posts!  And don’t give me that bullshit that “It doesn’t feel like Christmas” because it always feels like Christmas, you gotta just make it happen for yourself.  Turn on 106.7, you’ll be fine. 

Probably one of the main things I miss about high school is doing plays.  I never imagined I’d ever do a play in my life but, once I started doing them, I couldn’t seem to stop.  Nobody, including myself, thought I was the type to do plays but it really ended up becoming a part of me I never knew before.  Every once in a while I think back on my decision to do them and I’m so glad I did.

People that know me know that I enjoy being a little weird.  I like making people laugh.  When I did plays, I actually had a platform in which I could express my weirdness and sense of humor without boundaries.  It was great considering I was a weirdo.  Sure, I was stupid in class during high school but in plays I could act and acting just isn’t about being funny; it’s about a whole different array of emotions and skills.  It’s not as easy as you think but I loved it.  I loved dressing up as somebody else, putting on an accent, and transforming into a completely different person for an adoring audience.  Don’t get me wrong, plays weren’t always fun and games but I never regretted any one that I did.  I think half of the people I know are people I’ve met through plays.  A large portion of my good friends did plays with me in high school and I wouldn’t trade them in for the world. 

But now I’m in college and it’s been almost 3 years since I made my final bow on that Farrell stage and, I gotta say, I miss it pretty bad.  For me, plays were just a high school thing.  A couple of my friends wanted to pursue it as a career in college but I knew that, for me, acting was best left in high school.  I never thought I’d miss it this much but I do and it’s weird.  Maybe it’s because I hear my best friend tell me about all the plays he’s doing and acts he’s in at college and maybe it’s because I have friends my age that are still involving themselves in plays outside of high school but I miss the play scene.  Nothing will rival my high school play memories but just to get on a stage and act again would kind of be like reliving the dream.

Since I’m out of the play scene, I kind of see my life as a play every now and then.  Every day is like a new page in the script and new characters emerge or exit.  I’m the main character along with the rest of my family.  Marilyn Monroe once said that life is a stage.  She also turned into a drug addict.  But that’s besides the point.  The point is that sometimes you have to envision your life as a play; you can’t always take it so seriously.  It’s up to you, however, to decide what kind of play you want to be.  Will it be a drama, satire, coming-of-age, adventure, or something else?  Who will remember your play?  What makes your play so special?  That’s all up to you.  That’s how I see my life sometimes.  I want people to remember me in some way, shape, or form.  Granted, I can’t make everyone I meet remember me but I have a vision of what my character is and, eventually, I will become that person and the people I want to remember me will remember who I am.  But, for now, I’ll continue writing my script and changing my character around for the better.  Maybe one day someone will read my play and be affected by it.  I wouldn’t expect much.  All I’d want is for my readers to think. 

Thinking too much isn’t a bad thing.  The most creative people in the world are ones that think too much.  Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m slipping away from my creative, artsy side and I don’t want to do that.  So I’m going to write and be weird and try my best to be the change I want to see on this sad island in which I live.

~

I never really cared about the Jets or even football in general up until Rex Ryan came into New York to coach them.  I’ve always primarily been a Mets fan so I’ve only focused on one losing team.  But now I’m finding myself rooting for two miserably pathetic teams and it’s causing me a huge amount of anxiety and stress.

If Rex Ryan didn’t come and lead the Jets to two playoff visits I probably would’ve been a lot better off.  I would’ve remained in my ignorant abyss of loserdom and been free of stress in the football field.  The Jets were looked at by the majority of NFL fans as a “joke” and the phrase “Same Old Jets” was the tag-line negative phrase associated with the organization.  But when Rex Ryan came and turned this team into a contender, Jets fans were pleasantly shocked for once.  He had this slightly cocky but confident attitude about him and actually got shit done.  He gave Jets fans something to boast about.  He made the Jets defense into the best in the league two years in a row and made the Jets actually exciting to watch.  Their offense was never explosive but they were solid enough and backed up by their stellar defense that they could win enough games to get into the playoffs and contend.  Soon enough I found myself studying up on Jets players and getting to know the NFL better.  My best friend bought me a Santonio Holmes jersey because I liked him so much.  The Mets were going down a road of steady decline after 2006 so there was nothing else left for me except this new sliver of hope that Rex Ryan brought for the New York Jets.

But I guess all good things must come to an end.  With quarterback Mark Sanchez and Coach Rex Ryan both in their 4th year, things are not looking as good as they did two years ago.  I was always somewhat of a critic of Sanchez but I usually attributed his mistakes to the fact that he was a rookie and brushed it off.  But now it’s almost 2013 and Mark Sanchez has not improved.  If anything, he’s gotten worse.  Sure, his team has gotten worse too but there comes a point where you can’t even blame the team anymore.  He’s just plain bad and everybody except Rex Ryan can see the horror.  Week after week I put myself through the pain of watching him play and it’s a miracle he’s still starting as the quarterback.  After this week, Mark Sanchez ALONE has 15 turnovers in 11 games on interceptions and fumbles.  That’s disgusting.  You cannot win games when you turn the ball over, it’s simple as that. 

And it’s not even all of Sanchez’s fault!  He’s surrounded by amateurs!  His runningbacks suck and more than half of his receivers are either busts or 3rd and 4th stringers.  Dustin Keller, his tight end, is his only safe option and even HE isn’t reliable all of the time.  Their main receiver Holmes is out for the season and I thought Sanchez might possibly do better without him but he just isn’t.  What makes it worse is that even when Sanchez DOES play good, his receivers don’t.  And that is why they suck so much balls.  Their offense does not exist and their defense only shows signs of greatness half of the time.  Not to mention that their special teams is all of a sudden crumbling.  There’s no leadership on this team, there’s no originality; it’s stale and boring to watch.  On first down you know exactly what the Jets are going to do: hand-off to Shonn Greene who runs up the center’s rear end for a gain of 2 yards.  2nd and 8.  Run or screen pass for 1-5 yards.  Then it’s third down and Sanchez get’s sacked, throws a pick, or misses a receiver.  It’s a beautiful offense led by the guy who dragged the Miami Dolphins into the shit tank last season, Tony Sparano.  So the horror stems from the coaching staff and ultimately the general manager, Mike Tannenbaum.

Mike Tannenbaum came in to office in 2006 and started the draft pick with two very good choices: D’Brickashaw Ferguson and Nick Mangold.  Ferguson is a Pro Bowler and Mangold is an All Pro meaning he is the best at his position.  But then we go to round 2 of the draft where Tannenbaum chooses Kellen Clemens as quarterback.  For those who don’t know, Kellen Clemens is horrific.  He rode the bench as the Jets backup for a while and now he’s backing up Sam Bradford in St. Louis who isn’t even a good QB.  That’s how BAD Kellen Clemens is.  In Round 3 they picked up safety Eric Smith who is somehow still on the team dragging his worthless ass around on defense.  He picked Anthony Schlegel in the 3rd round as well and the highlight of his career was muffing an onside kick.  The draft was decent.  2007 was probably his best draft when he picked Darelle Revis and David Harris, two excellent defensive players.  But then 2008 came and disaster struck with first round pick Vernon Gholston.  All you have to know is that Gholston is no longer in the NFL, that’s how much of a bust he was.  The rest of the picks that year were nobodies except for tight end Dustin Keller.  2009 comes around and disaster strikes again with Mark Sanchez, Shonn Greene, and Matt Slauson.  These three guys are still on the Jets and you’ve really gotta wonder WHY.  Shonn Greene looked like he had promise when he was backing up Tomlinson in his later years and so did Sanchez when he led the Jets to back-to-back playoff visits but now they’re just plain bad.  Next year, 2010, and Tannenbaum makes some more shittastic decisions with first round pick Kyle Wilson.  With Darrelle Revis and Antonio Cromartie, two of the best cornerbacks in the game, on your team, why would you draft ANOTHER cornerback in the first round when you clearly lack depth in other areas?  Where’s the logic?  Round 2 they get Vladimir Ducasse, an offensive linemen who is not good in the slightest.  Joe McKnight, a runningback, comes in the 4th round and he’s ultimately been a disappointment.  The Jets simply don’t use him as much as they should and lately he’s been careless on special teams.  Last but not least is John Conner, the fullback.  Why you pick a fullback, a position you don’t need, in the 4th round is beyond me.  But that’s Tannenbaum for you.  2011 yielded decent results but this year, 2012, the Jets came up with defensive linemen Quintin Coples and supposed superstar Stephen Hill.  Coples’ name is almost never mentioned during Jets games and Stephen Hill drops more passes than he catches.  Nice work Mike Tannenbaum, nice work. 

So what the hell does a Jet fan like me do?  Do I slowly shrink back into my cave of loserdom and oblivion or do I continue watching this team crash and burn?  I’m so disheartened, especially after seeing that joke of a game on Thanksgiving against the Patriots.  It was as if the Jets were like “Here, please take this win, we don’t want it!”  A sports columnist wrote that Rex Ryan didn’t come into New York to kiss Bellichick’s Super Bowl rings but on Thursday night he knelt down and polished them up for him!  I’m not sure what to do but I think for now I’ll just play career mode in Madden 13 as the Jets, make myself the coach and lead them to video game glory.  That’ll make me happy in my little make believe world.  The real world is too painful to watch.

In the weeks prior to the 2012 Presidential Election, my Dad stayed very much on top of all of the upcoming news regarding the President and his opponent, Mitt Romney.  We watched all of the debates and, after a while, he would tell me day in and day out that Romney was going to win this election comfortably.  He claimed there was no way the country could look past this economic crisis and want more debt and depravity.  Even the major political analysts on TV and radio agreed that Mitt Romney was going to win in the end.  Nobody, except maybe diehard Liberals, thought Barack Obama had a sure shot of reelection.   Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan put up an impressive campaign and gave Obama and his slick tongue a run for his money.  But, even after hearing all of this, I kept getting this nagging notion in the back of my mind that it was going to be close.  I kept saying to myself that good would triumph over evil and Romney would come out on top but I couldn’t help but think that somehow this country’s ignorance and stupidity would outweigh its intelligence and vote in Barack Obama for another four years. I shook my head to make the thoughts go away.  Just the thought of it felt like a nightmare.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, that nightmare became a reality last night when I saw possibly the strongest Republican candidate since Ronald Reagan struggle and lose against a man who has ultimately done nothing good for this country in his four years as President.  It was around the time that Ohio, Florida, and Virginia were being added up that I lost my ability to speak.  All I could do was watch in silent horrified shock as the evil slowly triumphed over the good.  When the President won Ohio, I knew all hope was lost.  After Ohio, the President won the entire west coast and even Colorado and New Mexico.  Electoral votes were stacking up and in a matter of seconds I saw “Barack Obama reelected as President” on the TV screen.  At that point I couldn’t even move.  Was this a dream?  Could this really be happening right now?  I rubbed my eyes to make sure I was awake because I seriously couldn’t comprehend the catastrophe I just witnessed.  Nobody saw this coming.  He wasn’t supposed to win.  The country is a disaster!  The news station switched over to Obama’s headquarters in Chicago and all you could see were people jumping up and down, screaming, and dancing like monkeys that just got let out of a zoo.  My stomach immediately knotted up.  All I could think of was that famous Star Wars quote:  “So this is how liberty dies.  With thunderous applause.”

But this just isn’t a loss for the Republican party, Mitt Romney, and Paul Ryan.  No, this is more than that.  This is a loss for America.  Barack Obama getting reelected is a huge step backwards for this country, its belief systems, and its people.  How in the world we can reelect a President who has added an astronomical amount of debt in four years, destroyed jobs, raised taxes and regulations, and punished people for working hard is beyond me.  Doesn’t anybody realize this?  Nobody knows what he’s done?  I bet half of the people that voted for Obama don’t even know why they did.  They just figure ‘Hey, I’m getting free stuff, Romney’s mean and wants to take away my free stuff; Obama 12 baby!’.  They don’t know shit about anything and that’s the problem with America.  We have so many outlets to be informed on our country and, yet, we squander those outlets for pointless and trivial things instead of getting informed on the truth about the people running our country.  Disgraceful.

My Dad manages a couple of apartment building in Brooklyn.  Every day he goes to them and checks up on them to make sure they’re running good.  So yesterday he went to one of his buildings and was talking to the superintendent about the election.  He asked her if she was going to vote and she said, “Oh that’s today?!  I don’t know, maybe I’ll vote for Obama”.  Can you believe that?  One of the most important days in our lives and she didn’t even know about it.  Not like it’s been advertised for months.  But, anyway, she said she supports Obama because he seems like he wants to help out the people like her and Romney just wants to help the rich.  This is the ever-growing assumption going around between minorities and ignorant citizens and it’s purely simply false.  But the Obama part is right.  He supports lazy piles of crap that don’t want to work or contribute to society.  This woman is a lazy sack of shit who sleeps till almost noon every day and collects Medicaid, welfare and a slew of other government “benefits”.  Just for existing and being a poor capable minority, Obama essentially pays for her living expenses.  So, to her and all the millions of people like her, Obama is a saint!  Pile on the free stuff!  Obama has put more people on food stamps than any other president before him.  47% of the country doesn’t pay federal income tax.  Unemployment is still at an uncomfortably high percentage.  Who pays for all these people who don’t work or pay taxes?  Where does all this money come from?  Well, it comes from the law-abiding working citizens like my Dad who wake up at 7:00 every morning and bust their asses so they can provide for their family.  Now, how is that fair, Mr. President?  Where’s your “fair share”?

But even if this doesn’t sway you, let me shed some more light on this bastard that runs our country.  For starters, his past is unclear and there’s still the mystery of the birth certificate but nobody seems to care about that.  On another note, he’s friends with terrorists and has surrounded himself by Marxists such as Bill Ayers throughout his life.  In case you don’t know, Karl Marx was the creator of communism.  He’s a pathological liar and looks to blame the Bush administration and Republicans in general for his failures.  He’s endorsed by Putin, Chavez, and Fidel Castro; all dictators of communist and socialist countries.  Why?  Because he’s one of them!  At first, socialism seems great.  Everyone’s equal, nobody’s better than anyone else, nobody’s rich or poor, we’re all equal and everything is rainbows and unicorns.  But then everyone slowly loses their individuality.  Motivation and determination is zapped out of society because nobody wants to work anymore.  What’s the point of working hard if I’m just going to get paid the same amount of money no matter what I do?  And, plus, there are people doing absolutely nothing out there and getting the same amount of money as I am!  Fuck this shit, I’m playing Xbox and jerkin off all day from now on! 

Okay, maybe you won’t jerk off every day…maybe every other day.  But my point is that socialism and communism crush dreams and squander hope for a better economy.  You’re stuck in the same routine with no room for improvement.  After a while the economy stagnates and decays because there’s nobody working anymore and the government runs out of money to give to the people.  Just look at Greece.  Look at Italy, France, Mexico, and all these countries where communism and socialism exists.  These people immigrate to the United States in order to find jobs and freedom and, soon, there aren’t going to be any jobs here.  The President of France is now instituting a 75% income tax on the upper percentile.  That means 75% of your hard earned money goes to the government.  That’s the road that America is on.  Obama and Biden claim that they just want the upper class to pay “a little bit more” but they don’t realize that “a little bit more” adds up when you keep asking for more and more; piling on taxes until the working class can’t breathe.  I’m a single male in college and 20% of my paycheck goes to the government.  Now that isn’t bad but once I get older and get married I’ll be like my Dad who has more than 33% of his paycheck go to the government and he makes a lot more money than me.  Now that lost money becomes more significant.  When more and more of your earned money is going towards dumb ass pieces of crap who don’t want to work, where is your incentive to improve yourself and work harder?  There is none.

But I guess the majority of America wants to go down the road of destruction.  They want to see our capitalist system that has served us so well since our independence crumble and be replaced by failure.  I think people are forgetting that our country was formed on the basic principle that you had to work hard in order to be rewarded.  Thomas Jefferson once wrote, “A government that is big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take away everything you have” and truer words have never been spoken.  Isn’t this a government for the people by the people?  Thank God the Republicans remained control of the House of Representatives, otherwise we’d really be fucked!  Obama is unrelenting in his plans for a socialist America.  He doesn’t want our people to succeed, he wants to keep them on their knees begging for handouts.  Obama has the people right in the palm of their hands.  He keeps them poor and dependent on the government so he can make the achievers in life looks like the bad guys.  Despite this fact, people still vote for him!  I guess they like being poor and worthless!  Republicans believe in the power of the individual, not the government.  We believe that everybody has a chance at achieving greatness no matter what background you come from.  But the Democrats simply rely on twisting the truth, bashing the Republican Party as mean, racist, and negligent of the poor.  They fabricated a lie about women’s rights and made Romney’s views on abortion a huge ordeal and the people ate it up.  Mitt Romney ran a clean old-fashioned race whereas Barack Obama ran a very small, meaningless campaign built upon lies, his charisma, his entitlement programs, and his perpetual bashing of his opponent.  The fact that the American people couldn’t see past all his bullshit and vote for someone who can actually get stuff done is what saddens me the most.

I never believed in the whole “end of the world” or “Antichrist” thing but now it doesn’t even seem that far-fetched.  We reelected a man who was literally the worst President of all time, embarrassed our country with it’s pathetic amount of debt, and lied his way to victory.  He kept preaching about “Change” and he did change a lot of things.  He’s changing the policies that this nation was built on.  He turned this Presidential election into a likability contest rather than a credibility contest.  He’s got people on their knees praising his government programs and begging for more.  He’s crushing the upper and middle class with taxes and regulation.  He’s hypnotized and mesmerized citizens with his charisma, speaking ability, and his simple generic slogans of “Hope”, “Change”, and “Forward”.  I’m pretty sure Hitler used the same phrases when he was running for office too.  Barack Obama has changed America in all the wrong ways.  He’s destroying what made this country so great.  I’m literally sick to my stomach knowing that this country voted him in for more economic destruction.  It was as if he punched us in the stomach and we simply responded, “Please sir, may I have another?”  What will it take for us to wake up out of our stupor and daze?  Will it be another Great Depression?  Will it be when we’re in so much debt that China practically owns us?  What is the breaking point?  What happened to America’s intelligence and independence?  Maybe the world really is going to end in a month!  Honestly, I kind of hope it does so I don’t have to see my country suffer for four more years.  We were smart enough to kick out Jimmy Carter after four years, how come we couldn’t kick this moron out after four years?  I’m at a loss for words. 

In conclusion, America has reached a turning point.  It’s as if we’re at the top of a roller coaster and now we’re starting to slowly plummet down.  The DOW already dropped 180 points so it’s looking good!  Half my pay check will probably go towards gas considering it’s not going to get cheaper in these next four years.  If anything, it’ll be $5.00 a gallon before we know it.  Even the bus and train fees are going up.  Finding a career job after college and possibly an apartment is going to be a shitload of fun!  All sarcasm aside, though, I’m so incredibly disgusted at this country and it’s decision making that I want to vomit.  It is a sad time for the Republicans of America who are sitting at work right now probably thinking the same things as me.  With the Republicans in control of the House of Representatives, most of Obama’s whacked out plans won’t be able to get passed.  But I pray that this country will endure four more years of hardship and stick to the principles that we were founded on.  Never back down and keep working hard.  It’s all we can do. 

God bless America.

As this extremely important Presidential election approaches faster and faster, I’ve been more and more compelled to post my viewpoints about it on Tumblr but never really had the time to sit down and write it.  But tonight I saw ignorance on behalf of the President of the United States and Governor Mitt Romney on Facebook and it really got me angry.  It’s time to express how I feel on this very important issue.

So here’s what I’m about to lay down on all of you fine people on Tumblr.  The very large majority of Tumblr is made up of Obama supporters.  In case you didn’t know, the most reblogged post on Tumblr is “Mitt Romney sucks, pass it on.”  Why?  I really have no idea.  But Tumblr is pro-Obama because he’s a fun President.  If you think about it, he’s social-networking-friendly.  He’s always smiling, he’s going on talk shows, touring all over the place, and saying really inspirational and witty things.  He’s promoting the benefits for the poor and equality of all!  Who wouldn’t like such a great guy like that? 

But you see, my friends, that’s the problem with our society.  We’re very quick to simply judge a book by its cover and not dig deeper into the personality or present and past deeds of the person.  When regular people see Obama they see a calm, collected, good-hearted guy.  He’s got a great smile, he seems to want the best for me and my family, and he even wants to give me things for free!  But then they look at Romney and they think “What an asshole”.  He’s a hard, calculating, emotionless man who only cares about the business men and women of America.  Look at him, he’s always so stiff.  He always cuts off Obama in the debates, and thinks he has a better method than our President.  Isn’t the decision clear?

That’s judging a book by it’s cover.  That’s ignorance.  Everywhere I go I come in contact with blatantly ignorant people and it gets me so angry.  The intelligence of our country is diminishing and anyone who denies it is too dumb to realize it.  As Americans, we have millions of ways to find information about he world around us.  But what do we do?  We waste away on Facebook, Tumblr, and illegitimate gossip sites and become symbols of ignorance who are completely oblivious to the hard facts regarding our President and his opponent.  Do you know what I have to say to hardcore Obama supporters around the country?  Stop blaming the Bush administration for our problems and formulate a real plan for recovery and change.  Actually, we did get change with Obama.  He changed our national debt!  He added almost 5 trillion dollars to our debt and did more damage than Bush did in 8 years in half of that time.  How could you sit there and tell me you want this guy as our president?  He’s not helping our country, he’s driving it to the ground.  Unemployment rates have risen to record levels and taxes are getting higher and higher as we speak.  He made Obamacare a “tax” because he knew it was unconstitutional as a piece of legislation.  He’s brainwashing people with the idea that free healthcare exists when it doesn’t.  Wake up, people.

Then people have the audacity to say Romney is worse and has no plans of action.  This is the epitome of ignorance.  First off, you’re admitting Obama is horrible.  Secondly, Obama’s plan during these last few weeks has been “Vote for me because Romney is a big fat meanie”.  Seems legit, right?  Romney’s plans may not be the word of God but at least he has plans!  He has plausible plans and has a will to really accomplish things and we need people that can get shit done in this country.  What has Obama done?  Please tell me what he’s done, I beg you.  During his debates all he’s mentioned is killing Osama Bin Laden and he didn’t even do that.  We’ve been looking for Bin Laden since the Bush days and one of our soldiers killed him, not Barack Obama.  He has nothing, he’s done nothing, and he’ll continue to do nothing if we re-elect him for four more years.

But, honestly, I’m scared.  I’m scared that America is going to sacrifice their independence and tax dollars to vote for a man who mesmerizes his citizens with false hope and charisma and ultimately does nothing to help our country rise out of the shithole it’s in right now.  This country was founded by people who worked hard for their independence and rights.  This country was founded on the principle that if you wanted to prosper you had to work and stand up for what you believe in.  Now all people want to do is lay around their houses all day and play Xbox, pop out babies, and wait for the government to help them out.  They have no intention on providing for their family or country because the government is going to provide for them.  Why work when you can collect unemployment for years?  Why work when you can just get food stamps from the government or get a phone or even get a house?  Why work?!  The government is giving you all this free stuff!  Obama is great! 

Wrong!  All these government programs are making the economy stagnate.  You lazy bastards, have you no shame?  Have you no dignity?  How could you live with yourself knowing that you’re a worthless money-sucking leech that takes and takes and takes and never gives.  How is that fair, Obama?  Is everyone really paying their fair share?  What the hell does “fair share” even mean?  I couldn’t even tell you because the President hasn’t told us.  He speaks in generalities and the people love it.  The majority of people in this country like to be lead.  They like to hear good things and avoid the truth.  They don’t want the truth so Obama gives the people what they want.  He continually leads our American people into a false sense of security.  The government will take care of everything, don’t you worry your pretty little head.  No, Mr. President, that isn’t the answer.  Eventually you run out of money to give to all the people doing nothing all day and you get less incentive from working people to go out and work every day.  Why?  Because why would you want to bust your ass every day knowing that there’s some lazy piece of shit making just as much money as you simply because they’re a poor piece of shit?  Hell, I don’t want to work anymore.  I’ll just collect unemployment for a while!

America doesn’t realize this.  America doesn’t realize that Barack Obama is bringing this country down with his “Obamacare”, stimulus plan, government regulated operations, and his crippling taxation of the middle and upper class.  I just feel like it’s common sense, you know?  Lower taxes and people will buy more stuff.  What is so hard to understand?  Lowering taxes is key to stimulate economic growth.  Less is more.  Government regulations on real estate is absurd.  Taxes on businesses are unfathomable.  People don’t even want to open up businesses nowadays because they know they’re going to be bogged down with a plethora of taxes and regulations.  How is that promoting small businesses and the middle class Mr. President?  You say you’re for the middle class but I don’t see any improvements.  Your vice president, Joe Biden, even said it himself: “The middle class has been buried these last four years!  Buried!”

Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t think Mitt Romney is some saint or the next coming of Yahweh but, if you honestly read up on your facts, you’ll see that Governor Romney has a legitimate plan of action to get this country up and running and respected again.  He tells the truth and that is something that President Obama fails to do most of the time.  People eat up his words like it’s Captain Crunch on a Saturday morning.  It’s been brought up many times how Obama lies through his teeth just to sway his audience.  He hasn’t done anything to improve this country so he has to make things up.  And none of the democrats or Liberals seem to be making a big fuss over the catastrophe in Bengazi.  If this was Richard Nixon he’d be hung by his toes but no, this is Barack Obama, the second coming of Christ!  Four men dead in Libya, one of them a U.S. Ambassador?  No big deal!  It doesn’t need any explaining; don’t worry, they’re doing a thorough investigation!  Yeah, thorough investigation my ass.  Convenient how it’s being conducted after the election too.  This guy is a disgrace and it sickens me to hear Obama fans oozing with pride over their “loving” President and expressing their pure hatred for Mitt Romney, a man who simply loves America and wants to see it growing again.  He has the experience that Obama lacks.  What was Obama?  He was a senator of Illinois and we elected him just for that?  No, we elected him because of his speaking ability and charm.  I don’t give a fuck if our president is the biggest asshole in the world.  If he can lower gas prices, lower the debt, lower taxes, and get America on its feet again, I will be the happiest man in the world.  Just look at Ronald Reagan.  A lot of people didn’t like him but he got America out of its slump and had our economy ripping and roaring for the years he was in office.  He didn’t take any shit from anybody and got stuff done.  Look past the cover, America.  Actions speak louder than words. 

So I ask you, people of the United States…do you value your independence?  Isn’t that what we fought for?  Why should we have the government follow our every footstep and wipe our asses after every shit we take?  We’re Americans and we can get shit done on our own.  We can go out into the world, work hard, and achieve things for ourselves and each other without all this “help” from the government.  By no means am I saying that we shouldn’t have government and regulation.  Government is essential but too much is a burden on our independence.  Americans are individuals.  Everyone is always talking about equality and fairness and being the same but they don’t realize that they’re stripping themselves of their individuality when they strive to be the same.  In the words of Pink Floyd, “All in all you’re just another brick in the wall”.  Shouldn’t we be our own person?  We should define ourselves and strive for our dreams without having to worry about government legislation interfering or burdensome taxes taking away our spending money.  We are the United States of America and we are the best damn country in the entire world and we’re going to let our debt make us weak?  We’re going to bow to rulers of other countries and lower ourselves to the failures of socialism and communism?  Are we going to sit around and watch as communist rulers laugh in our face at our weakness because of our debt?  Not on Mitt Romney’s watch.  It’s time to get America working again, it’s time to rise out of this abyss, it’s time to stop being stagnant and helpless.  It’s time to get off up our asses and work just like our founding fathers did so many years before us. 

No matter what your beliefs are, I urge all of you to watch the news and political talk shows or read up on articles online just to get a better understanding of these two contenders’ viewpoints.  Please don’t be just another obnoxious ignorant supporter of either candidate and vote intelligently on November 6th.  Every voice counts and I sincerely hope that whoever wins this election gets the job done in these next four years.  Like I said before, we desperately need someone who can get shit done in this country and I’m praying that we rise up and take back the crown as the Best Country in the World.

What can Facebook do?  I think the better question to ask is what can’t it do as far as social networking is concerned?  Facebook originally started as a small, plain community in 2004 intended for college students to interact.  It was the very grown-up version of MySpace.  So when the kids around my generation went to high school or were in high school, they decided to hop off the MySpace train-to-nowhere and jump onto the Facebook bandwagon.  It was something refreshing and new that came at the right time.  I joined Facebook the summer of 2007 when I was about to enter into high school just because I saw one of my Friends post a link on MySpace of his new Facebook page.  I checked it out and I decided I’d make one but I almost never used it at the time.  My freshman year of high school was still ruled by MySpace.  However, one by one, kids my age started making Facebook pages and in order to stay in the loop, I made the gradual switch over to Facebook sometime during my sophomore year of high school.  Facebook was visually very different from MySpace.  It was just a plain white layout with a sprinkling of dull blue dispersed throughout it.  The interface was relatively simple so I figured out how to use it surprisingly quick.  I remember, when I first made it, one of the cool things to do was to leave “graffiti” on other people’s “Wall”s.  You would draw something with your mouse and leave it on people’s walls for them to see and even replay.

But all the terms on Facebook were different from Myspace.  There was no option to change your “mood”.  Instead of commenting on people’s pages you simply left them a “wallpost”.  You didn’t have to pick a song for your profile page and you couldn’t change the layout; two of the things that I spent countless hours on MySpace doing.  At first I was pissed off that I couldn’t customize my Facebook layout but, like I said earlier, this was the grown up version of MySpace and I soon outgrew the playful, annoying nature of MySpace and grew into the more mature Facebook world.  I remember when you wanted to make a status on Facebook it would say “[Your name] is” as the preface to whatever you wanted to say.  You couldn’t say anything in the future or past tense!  Then they came out with the option of changing the verb.  Eventually, they just let us write whatever the hell we wanted.  Facebook’s design has gone through massive changes throughout the years and has been perpetually disputed about by the majority of Facebook users but we all just seem to grudgingly accept and even like the changes sometimes.

            In this day and age, Facebook isn’t just a place to socialize with your friends.  It’s a media hotspot.  Celebrities, companies, sports players, music artists, and everyone who is aspiring to become famous have pages on Facebook in which you can “Like” and consequently receive information about via your “Newsfeed”.  All celebrities use Twitter but why use Twitter when you can Like their Facebook pages and still hear the exact same things they’re saying?  Celebrities link their Twitter accounts to Facebook so everything they say on Twitter is directly pushed to Facebook.  Your Newsfeed is a constantly updating stream of posts made by your friends and pages that you’ve Liked.  There is never a dull moment on Facebook.  There is a perpetual flow of new information flooding through your Newsfeed, especially if you have hundreds or even thousands of “friends”.  Now Facebook has given us the option to “tag” people in statuses and virtually everything we post on our walls.  We can even mention them in a comment on a Wallpost.  When we “tag” them, a blue link with their name pops up and we can subsequently click that link and be directed to their page.  More importantly, it directly grabs the attention of the friend because a notification is sent to them saying “[Your name] mentioned you in a comment/wallpost”.  So now they have to check it out!  You could message people back and forth to keep a conversation with them or, if you’re both online at the same time, you can directly chat through Facebook.  Remember IMing people through AOL or AIM?  That’s a thing of the past, my friends.  Now teenagers simply text each other or IM each other on Facebook.

            One big thing on Facebook is creating events in order to rally a group of people together to come to an event.  It’s essential nowadays to create events on Facebook.  The amount of people it grabs the attention of is phenomenal.  You’re able to reach so many more people through Facebook than through text or word of mouth.  About 90% of all the big gatherings I plan are orchestrated through a group Facebook message.  When I want to have a party at my house or plan a football game on weekend, I simply tag a bunch of people in a message and send it out.  I remember when it was my senior prom, I had a group message containing all the guys on my party bus and we figured out expenses and all of the miscellaneous aspects of prom through that message.  You can do so much more with Facebook so my personal inquiry is “Why have Twitter, and Instagram when Facebook encompasses it all?”  You can have one social network to master them all!  Besides, Facebook itself owns Instragram.  That fact should say something in and of itself. 

            Besides celebrities, businesses advertise like crazy on Facebook.  It’s not entirely free to advertise on Facebook but it is free to make a page.  On TV and on our products you see and hear all the time “Like us on Facebook”.  Facebook is starting to control everything around us.  On every magazine or newspaper website, users have the option to share whatever their reading with their Facebook community.  Facebook is interconnected with almost everything that goes on in the Internet.  Just to prove this, go home and check how many websites have an option to share or Like one of their things on Facebook.  I’m sure it’ll be at least 75% of everything you view.  So, to wrap up, the pros of Facebook are numerous.  Firstly, you can very easily interact with your friends by posting pictures, creating events, messaging, chatting, posting things on each other’s pages, or sharing music, videos, and outside images.  If you, an average person, are looking to maximize revenue at a concert you’re in, a play you’re doing, or any type of event that costs money and is in your local area, all you have to do is create an event on Facebook and invite all your friends with the click of a button.  It’s such a great way to toss around ideas and share information between your peers.  Businesses and celebrities gain amazing benefits from free advertising.  What is there to lose?  Possibly the best fact about Facebook is how easy it is to search something and how there aren’t annoying ads flooding the layout.  There is ease of access and Americans love that.

            As for the cons of Facebook, I can’t really think of any glaring negative facts about it except for the psychological and social effect it is having on my generation and the younger generations.  I feel like all these social networking sites are making our kids grow up faster and less intelligently.  Instead of being outside playing or being creative, kids are talking about how bored they are and all the things they hate on Facebook or Twitter.  It is numbing the minds of the young and overloading our brains with mostly unnecessary information.  Not only that, but kids barely know how to socialize in person any more.  Everything goes down on Facebook.  People “request” to be “friends” with people they hardly know or don’t even know at all on Facebook just to seem more popular.  Little teenagers are becoming increasingly vain and egoistic.  They get into trouble by subtly flirting with each other online.        I know because I’ve experienced it first hand!  Everything looks so perfect on Facebook but, unfortunately, it’s not real.  For example, never judge a girl too positively just by her Facebook picture.  Facebook is not meant for young kids and shouldn’t be used in excess.  Unnecessary drama can be sparked through it, your privacy is limited with every friend you add, and it could turn you into something you’re not.  But these are just the psychological problems associated with Facebook that I’ve identified throughout the years.  As far as Facebook’s purpose and uses, it’s a brilliant concept and works amazingly well.  Facebook as a company is extraordinarily successful as well.  As of June 2012, Facebook employs 3,976 people.  Almost 4,000 people are working for a social networking website.  That’s crazy.  Approximately 81% of Facebook’s monthly active users are outside the U.S. and Canada and, as of June, there are 552 million daily active users on average.  So not only is Facebook affecting North America but it is also infiltrating the lives of people worldwide.  Facebook is a growing global phenomenon that is not reaching a decline anytime soon.  But that’s just my point of view.

So today I’m wearing a shirt that says “Please Do Not Twitter” on it with a man throwing the Twitter bird into a garbage pail and I decided, “Hey, today is as good a time as any to express my feelings on this social networking site that has captured the attention of nearly every teen on Staten Island and cities around the United States”. 

As you can tell already, I’m not a big fan of Twitter.  Ever since it came out, I’ve thought it was stupid.  I already had Facebook, why did I need to sign up for something just to stalk celebrities, post incessantly about my life, and then read about my friends’ lives and feelings?  I didn’t want that!  Originally, when it came out, Twitter users my age made their accounts mostly to stalk celebrities and keep up with news or gossip.  Now everybody and their mother has a Twitter.  Every branch of media is integrating Twitter and all this social networking shit into their game plans.  News and sportscasters constantly reference different Tweets and hashtags in their daily shows.  For example, the news analyzed the amount of tweets per minute Michelle Obama got during one of her speeches the other week compared to Mitt Romney.   Just recently, ESPN conducted a survey on Twitter to see the top five names for the infamous end of game “catch” by Golden Tate in the highly controversial Seahawks-Packers game this Monday.  After this game, ESPN even pulled up angry tweets by several Packer players and other NFL moguls.  Now every single football player, baseball player, Olympic contestant, coach, and celebrity has a Twitter account.  I think it might be in their contract to make one at the rate these sports player accounts keep popping up.  Then everybody else wants to make a Twitter so they can get in on everybody’s life and be a part of hash-tag-mania and see what every one of their favorite celebrities and players are thinking.  Don’t forget every college girl instagr.am’ing what she had for dinner that night or uploading a picture of herself at least four times a week from their dorm room with their girls.

I don’t consider myself a “hater” of Twitter because it is useful as far as media goes.  It’s essentially free advertising for anybody that owns a business, is famous, or trying to get famous.  Celebrities, businesses, or activists can easily get their word out.  However, I still feel as if Facebook encompasses everything that Twitter does and more.  What do you do with Twitter?  Tweet about your life and feelings, right?  Check up on news and what your favorite politicians, celebrities, and sports players are saying?  You can do all of that on Facebook.  Just like every famous person has a Twitter, they also have a Facebook page.  More than likely their tweets are linked to their Facebook.  For example, I follow Big Sean on Facebook and whatever he tweets goes straight on there.  Now what do you do with instagr.am?  Take pictures with it and make it look all fancy and then see how many people click the heart and comment on it. …Wait, am I missing something?  I’m pretty sure you can do the exact same thing on Facebook except you can’t edit your picture.  Oh my, what a tragedy!  Twitter and instagr.am combined doesn’t even equal the power of Facebook.  Both of these things are linked up to Facebook because Facebook is at the center of everything in regards to social media and that’s just the way it is.

But now let’s get down to why I really don’t like Twitter.  I’ll admit, with everyone going crazy over it, I almost gave in and made an account one time but I knew I had to stick by my initial beliefs, slap myself, and stay away.  I don’t like joining things because it’s the new big thing.  I only did that with MySpace back in the day because I was a spineless 7^th grader who just wanted to be cool with all the prepubescent girls around me that just discovered their tits for the first time.  But I digress.  My best friend recently made a Twitter a couple of months ago and one day he told me to go on it so I scrolled through it and clicked on anybody he retweeted or was having a conversation with.  When you have a conversation with someone on Twitter you have to put “@” symbol and then the person’s Twitter name afterwards.  So there could just be a list of tweets with @penislickinpat all down your Twitter feed.  What is this, MySpace?  Remember commenting back and force on people’s pages?  Good shit.  But, anyway, my friend’s Twitter page wasn’t too gay.  On the other hand, girls’ Twitter accounts can be unbearable to scroll through sometimes.  Honestly, I don’t want to hear about every part of your damn life.  I don’t want to see a hundred instagr.am pictures of how good your hair looked that day, you and your best friend making kissy faces, or all the red cup pictures of you and your classmates from every single party you go to.  On Facebook, it’s highly unlikely for anyone to post more than two statuses per day.  I don’t know why but that’s just the way it is.  But, on Twitter, nobody cares!  Some bitches go hard posting random inane shit as much as 15 times an hour.  Even guys go hard sometimes!  Like dude, chill, I know way too much about your life right now.  Nowadays people don’t even have to take the time to get to know a person because they can just scroll through their Twitter and figure them out in a matter of minutes.  Don’t people want to have some privacy?  Don’t they want to have somewhat of an air of mystery about them that would make certain guys or girls interested in getting to know them more?  Granted, the same thing can happen with Facebook but people seem to be a lot less reluctant in voicing their emotions and life story on Twitter than on Facebook.  That’s one of the main reason I stay away from Twitter; just like a vampire confronted with garlic. 

But I have to admit, this Twitter craze did some good for me!  I forgot when it was but, almost simultaneously, girls and guys alike gradually stopped existing on Facebook and flocked to the Twitter world.  Girls that used to blow up my Facebook newsfeed either deleted their Facebook or abandoned it.  But they still had to go on occasionally just to upload a new picture.  That they did.  But I was happy that girls took their useless banter to Twitter.  I like Facebook more now!  The only bad thing is the pages we liked two or three years ago have come back to haunt us with annoying memes and spam.  But other than that, I see my friends post about sports, my old high school, politics, or actually funny things and it’s not bad.  Girls rarely clutter my newsfeed anymore; hardly any of them post statuses anymore.  All they do is post instagr.am pictures and go back and forth with their girlfriends on their pictures or say “aw thank you! J” to all the insecure guys that comment on them.  So, in a way, I’m thankful for this Twitter invasion.  You guys can have your fun tweeting and exchanging bullshit, I’ll stick to trusty Facebook.  For those who think Twitter will outshine Facebook are purely dumb.  I actually question your intelligence if you truly believe this.  No, my friends, Facebook will not die out.  If anything, Facebook will “come back” sooner or later for the girls that left it.  After a while you have to get bored with perpetually scrolling through gossip and bullshit every day of your life.  Facebook is where it’s at.  Watch out for Google+ though, that might get unexpectedly popular within the near future.  As for now, don’t go talking to me about how I should make a Twitter.  I’ll try and keep most of my thoughts to myself and you can keep on posting your 140-or-less character tweets because just like I’m not about that frat life…

 

…I’m not about that Twitter life either. ;)

I know I’m not the only guy that feels like this because I’ve talked to people that feel the same but, whenever I walk around my school, I feel like nobody understands why I don’t want to join a frat.

I go to a small school.  Every day I see the same hundred or so people going about their business around campus and the majority of them are in fraternities and sororities on campus.  I walk into the cafeteria and there are clumps of people sitting at different tables scattered throughout the room.  They all have a designated table and I’ve always wondered how these groups picked their table.  Did it originate when the group originated?  Or did someone say one day “Okay, we’re all sitting at the table closest to the wall by the cash register and that’s it”?  I wonder about stupid shit like that.  But, anyway, I walk into the cafeteria and there’s about eight tables taken up by frats and sororities.  Where do I, the frat-less guy, sit?  Sometimes I just don’t give a fuck and sit with the frat groups but, most of the time, I hit up the backroom with the huge TV and pool table.  That’s where my kind hangs out and, honestly, I like them a lot.  Personally, I’d rather eat my lunch watching ESPN and shooting pool than sitting with the same bunch of guys at the same table every day staring at each other doing nothing. 

Now, when I stepped into college, I didn’t have a clue that St. John’s was so big on Greek life.  I’ve heard of frats and sororities vaguely through older friends that went away to college but I didn’t think St. John’s on Staten Island would be Greek central.  When I say Greek I don’t mean that there are actual Greek people at my school, I mean that each group has their own Greek letter combination distinguishing them from the others.  Although there probably are a good amount of actual Greeks at my school but that’s besides the point.  Last year I was seriously considering joining a frat simply because it seemed like it was a good way to break the ice in my new surroundings and get invited to parties on the weekends.  But I’m not the type to just start something like that without heavily looking into it.  So I did my research and what I concluded was that these fraternities and sororities on campus were just all lesser versions of cults.  At first, joining one of these groups seems like an awesome idea.  You get to have all these friends that you never had before and you finally have a place where you fit in!  For some, this is essential.  There are some people that are obvious sorority girls or frat guys and this life was meant for them.  But then there’s people like me that won’t buy into any of their crap.

When I heard that you have to pay “dues” to the group every month, I immediately got turned off.  To me, this meant that I had to pay to have friends and I didn’t want to do that.  It’s like “Want friends and/or a life??  For a monthly fee of $X, you can have it all!  Just join Zi Alpha Penis today!”  Defenders of these cults say that the money goes to activities and whatnot and that’s true.  But what if I don’t want to go to all of these events?  What if I don’t want to go to a party one weekend?  What if I have to miss a pledge day because of work or something?  Do I have the option to miss a few things?  No way!  I hear stories from people about how mad group leaders get when pledges don’t show up to events or miss classes because of staying out late doing some stupid ass shit the night before.  Some groups go so far as to kick you out entirely if you miss an event.  You’re one missed event away from getting banished from Greek life and you haven’t even started.  What the fuck is that?  Maybe it’s because of the commitment but I don’t liked to be forced to do anything.  I want to have other groups of friends, I don’t want to just hang out with the same group of dudes (and possibly girls) every damn weekend.  Most of my money would be going to partying and alcohol too which is fun and all but I’m not a big party guy anyway.  I’d rather spend a night in my basement playing Super Smash Bros with my best friends than watching people get high and wasted at some random bar or house party.  It doesn’t happen too much at my college but some groups make their pledges do retarded shit just to fuck with them.  This isn’t the Army, I don’t want you to break me down and then build me up to get friends.  Like I said before, some people are made for Greek life and I’m not knocking that.  But it could make you into something you’re not.  I’ve known guys that have turned into douches and girls into outright bitches because of frats and sororities.  When you’re on the outside, all this frat and sorority shit sounds downright cultish.   

I see everybody walking around school with their Greek jerseys and t-shirts every day and all I think about is the Pink Floyd song “Another Brick in the Wall”.  They’re all just another brick in the wall.  I don’t know why but I get turned off when I see everybody doing the same thing.  For example, everybody has an iPhone now.  Everybody.  When I whip out my Blackberry, every girl is like “You still have a Blackberry??” as if they just saw me take out a Nokia and pull out the antenna.  I don’t want an iPhone now.  I’d rather get the new Samsung just because of that ingenious commercial they just came out with.  Same thing happened when The Hunger Games and 50 Shades of Shit got popular.  People who didn’t even know what a book was were all of a sudden reading these books and it just turned me off.  So when people constantly ask me about joining a frat or why I don’t want to join, I get more and more turned off about the idea.  Besides, it seems like once you join a frat in my school, you become a tool.  Only one frat is tool-free but I went to one of their parties and it wasn’t anything special.  I don’t need to join their frat to be their friends.  I already am.

What are the benefits of not being a frat boy?  Pretty much everything that comes with being a frat boy except I don’t have to waste my money, attend/do stupid shit, or represent any one group.  I’m free to hang out with whoever I want and do whatever I want.  My best friend doesn’t even go to my school so there’s another reason I don’t need to join anything.  They can keep doing their thing and I’ll keep doing mine.  But I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…  

I’m not about that frat life.

By the time August comes around, I start getting that sinking, depressed feeling inside me that every kid has experienced.  It’s inevitable.  Everybody knows that August means summer is coming to an end.  It’s not actually over but everyone makes it seem like it is because, let’s be honest, school’s right around the corner.  Those annoying back-to-school commercials start playing more and more frequently and make you want to scream at your TV and kill everyone that thinks buying backpacks and notebooks is even remotely fun.  But, as Panic at the Disco would say, “Put another X on the calendar, summer’s on its deathbed.” 

It’s hard to believe that my summer vacation started May 13th and here I am, three months later, mourning its end.  It hasn’t felt like three months.  It never does when it’s summer.  But I really can’t complain.  I had a ridiculously long break.  I thought I was going to see all my friends a million times and, in a way, I did.  However, I didn’t get to see a lot of friends as much as I would’ve liked to.  I saw my two best friends a lot and that was fun as hell but the other guys and girls?  Not so much.  But, like I said, I really can’t complain.  I didn’t have to work one night shift this summer thanks to my job.  I make my own hours and I always work from 11am to whenever I feel like leaving.  So not only do I not have to wake up early, I also don’t have to work nights and miss out on any plans.  It’s a beautiful thing. 

But, with this summer coming to an end, I can successfully say I’ve accomplished some goals.  I’ve made some good money, bought some cool shit, and had some great memories with my friends.  I definitely won’t forget this summer, even if I didn’t write much about it.  I’m not sure if last summer was better or not but I still have a few more days to make this one even more memorable.  I’ve got girls to see and guys to goof around with.  I’ve got money to make and stories to write.  Who knows what I can accomplish in these next 9 days before school starts.  One thing is for certain, I’ll be scrolling through my phone book and hitting up all my friends so I can hang out with them one last time before college.  It’s the common tragedy of all college students.  Our high school friends and lifelong buddies go separate ways for a few months and we’re forced to part ways for the time being.  There’s no doubt college is an awesome experience but we’ll all miss our friends at home.  Unless you have none, of course.  But it’s especially tragic for me; a commuter college student on a boring island in a school with chain-smoking, fitted-hat-wearing goons every five feet.  But Hey, school is school and I do what I gotta do.  I still have my best friend with me on the island so it can’t ever be that bad. 

But back to summer!  Even though summer is fantastic, it isn’t as laid back as it used to be.  I’ve worked the majority of my summer days.  I miss the days where I would wake up around 10:30 or 11, sneak downstairs, and put on a video game until my Mom yelled at me to come up.  I loved waking up to a beautiful day and thinking about all the stuff I was going to do.  I remember two summers ago, whenever it was nice out, I’d hit up all my friends around noon and we’d go to Bloomingdale Park or Miller Field at 1:30 or 2:00 and play soccer or football until we passed out from heat exhaustion.  Now the most we do is play basketball at night because everyone’s busy during the day and I’m not even good at basketball.  But a couple of weeks ago I actually played night wiffleball at a dead end with a couple of my friends.  It brought back some memories.  I miss all that stuff.  I miss being a kid and not having a care in the world.  I would wake up and the day would be mine to do whatever I wanted.  Now I got a schedule and things I gotta do.  It all comes with becoming an adult but, in the words of The Maine, “Growing up won’t bring us down”.  You just have to learn to accept your responsibilities and embrace the little things in life that make you happy. 

Making money is definitely a great feeling but I’m still getting used to the fact that I’m going to be working for the rest of my life.  I’m not used to it yet.  I’m still in the phase where all I care about is hanging out with my friends and having enough money to fill up my gas tank.  I’m not ready to be a grown up yet.  But with another summer coming to an end, I get closer and closer to that grown up world.  I’m 19 years old and I only have about seven months left of being a teenager.  It’s kind of depressing but there’s nothing I can do to reverse the process of life.  All I can do is try and take life by the horns and explore the new things I can do as an adult that I couldn’t have done as a kid.  When I turn 20, I’ll turn the page in my life story.  I’ll open myself up to a new decade; a new chapter.  It’s only just the beginning.

Summer 2012, you’ve been good to me.  I’ve done some things I shouldn’t have done and followed my heart instead of my brain at times but, like I said, it all comes with growing up.  You live and you learn, and I’m going to continue to live and learn and better myself as a person.  So let’s make a toast to a summer full of mistakes we may or may not learn from and memories we’ll take with us to the grave.

Drinks up.

Hey guys, welcome back to The Midnight Rant, a show where one guy seeks to alleviate his boredom, frustration, and his perpetually moving mind through a website where almost no one cares to listen to his bullshit.  But he’s back and he’s not in black.

If you haven’t figured it out already, my talk tonight is going to be about sluts!  Other applicable terms are hoes, whores, slores, cum guzzlers, and any other derogatory term you can think of.  Also, adding “bag” to the end of these terms is applicable as well (e.g. “slutbag” or “whorebag”).  Usually when you add the “bag” suffix it shows you mean business.  But enough technical stuff, I’m here tonight to really crack down on what a slut actually is.  It is a word that has been tossed around thousands of times during countless conversations in my lifetime and everybody seems to have their own definition as to what a “slut” is.  Due to this immense variation in meaning, I think it’s unfair for me to proclaim to you my definition and push it onto you like it’s God’s word.  No.  Instead, I’m going to give out a bunch of different definitions of the word “slut” and then I’ll make a conclusion after my analysis like I’m Bill Nye the science guy.

According to Dictionary.com, a slut is defined as “an immoral or dissolute woman; prostitute”.  Wikipedia adds, “Slut is a term applied to an individual who is considered to have loose sexual morals or who is sexually promiscuous. The term is generally pejorative and most often applied to women as an insult or offensive term of disparagement, meaning ‘dirty or slovenly’” and the Merriam-Webster dictionary adds another definition defining ‘slut’ as a “saucy girl”.  I kinda like that last definition.  I wanna be saucy.  But through these three (mostly) legitimate sources we can concur that a slut is 1. A woman and 2. Very flirty and sexual in nature.  It doesn’t say outright that a slut is a woman that engages in sexual intercourse with a bunch of dudes but it does hint at it.  The origin of the word is largely unknown but it’s derived from the word “slattern” which basically means slovenly and sloppy. 

These definitions give us some clarity on what a slut is but there’s so many ways to interpret the wording.  It’s like a philosophy class; there’s no wrong answer.  For example, the first definition says “immoral”.  What defines immoral?  That opens up a whole other can of worms.  Dictionary.com only hints at sex when it gives the synonym “prostitute” but an immoral woman could be immoral in other categories besides sex, right?  So what are you really trying to say Dictionary.com?  Wikipedia, on the other hand, gets down to the nitty gritty and basically says, “If the varsity football team has season passes downtown, then you’re a certified slut my friend.” 

But there’s the thing: How much is “too many”?  That’s the big debate.  That’s the issue that guys and girls have been arguing about for centuries.  A lot of guys these days are quick to toss around the words “slut” and “whore” because, well, they can.  They can because the many definitions of the word ‘slut’ make one thing very clear—you have to be a female.  So guys think it’s cool to call girls sluts.  In the presence of fellow guys, the word is tossed around more than pasta at an Italian restaurant.  To guys, it’s no big deal to call a girl a dick licking cum dumpster.  Oh, she hooked up with three guys in one night?  What a slut.  She’s flirting with you via text every day?  Slutty McSlutster.  She had sex with that kid one time???  Big time slut!  Everyone’s a slut! YEAH!

But I like to be smart about who I call a slut because, let’s be honest, it’s a harsh word.  One lesson I’ve learned is to always try and put yourself in the other person’s shoes.  If you do that, you’ll know what is right and what is wrong.  Every girl’s biggest fear is to be called a slut.  It’s one thing if it’s playful but once it becomes serious, it’s over.  It’s like the Scarlet Letter.  But then there’s some girls that don’t care.  They view sex as a normal action, something that shouldn’t be restrained or viewed as shameful.  But the majority of girls do care and it’s gotten to a point where girls are terrified to have sex because they know somebody will find out and brand them with that four letter word for the rest of their teenage life.  Some girls say they have ‘morals’ and having morals consists of not having sex.  For some it’s not having sex outside a relationship and for the more hardcore ones it’s celibacy till marriage.  Or maybe even the nunnery.  Every girl is different but society ultimately dictates what the definition of a slut is.  It’s hard for girls to have sex outside of a relationship nowadays, feel good about it, and not regret it afterwards.

The issue of “How much is too much?” is why I can’t really give you a definite definition of the word ‘slut’.  Some girls think one is too much while others think nothing is ever too much as long as you’re safe.  But I personally believe in the phrase “Everything in moderation”.  I believe that it’s okay to have sex before marriage, especially while in a relationship.  As far as outside of a relationship goes, you have to be smart about it.  All name-calling aside, too much sex at a young age can lead to lots of problems and diseases.  So chill.  Due to society’s quick judgmental nature, girls will never escape the incessant name-calling that comes with hooking up or having sex with a lot of guys.  I believe that as long as girls stay smart and safe, they’ll be free of the Slut Brand in my books.  But, in the end, it’s not about what I think, it’s what you think about yourself.  If you want to let out your teenage sexual frustrations on a friend of yours and he wants the same I’d say ‘Go for it’ as long as you know that you won’t regret it in the long run.  It’s in our nature to want to have sex but it’s up to you if you want to act on it or not. 

But, in conclusion, a slut is someone who has no respect for herself.  It is a girl who lets numerous guys take a trip inside of her on frequent occasions with relative ease.  It’s a girl that is too loose with her sexuality and too easy to get the best of.  That’s what I think a slut is.  Everyone has their own degree of that definition but I gave mine anyway.  I rest my case…

….ya slut.